A short update from inpatient (I sneaked my phone in and only just got 3G connection so I’ll make a quick post while I can):

Things are okay. I like the atmosphere and the people (mostly) and I feel relaxed and safe. I’m eating and sleeping well - completely “normally”, whatever the hell normality is - and (big news) I can finally read again! I’ve already finished Ham on Rye and The Hound of the Baskervilles, and am now reading a collection of short stories by Julian Barnes. Oh, how I’ve missed reading. I’m so glad I can do it again.

On the downside, a night staff came up to me and asked me why I “gained so much weight since last time” and I wanted to slap her a little bit. She then however proceeded to tell me that my BMI is “only ____”, so she doesn’t feel sorry for me. Nice. She got my BMI bang on, though, it was kind of scary how accurate she was, idk if she saw my file or something. I also saw a very tall and beautiful girl from school whilst walking around the unit yesterday and got so scared and anxious afterwards that she thought I was weird or looked ugly - but she actually then sent me a lovely email, saying how nice it was to see me, so I calmed down.

Uni/job thoughts: am now getting tempted by the idea of being a barrister. Apparently, I’d make a good one. Chinese and French at Sheffield still sounds good, though. Might revert back to the original plan - English - and then do a law conversion course. Oh, I don’t even know. I need to stop thinking so much about this stuff. Yesterday, for instance, I was 100% set on being an interpreter when I’m older, but now I’m back to “unsure”.

Anyway, that’s it from me. Hope you’ve all been okay this week so far.

  1. ekattri posted this